Top 20 Stupid Questions

There was a recent study done by somebody somewhere that the most viewed items on the internet (I am assuming other than porn) is "Top Ten Lists". Maybe we can thank David Letterman for that, but regardless, if the study was done, and stated on the internet - than it MUST be true - therefore, as traffic to my site means, ads being clicked, means I make money  - then here is a list I created a couple of years ago that anyone who has ever performed music will relate to, and for those that have watched and interacted with a performer, you too may see some items that you thought were original when speaking with the performer.


TOP 20 QUESTIONS I GET ASKED WHEN PERFORMING

Q: Where does the name ``My Other Brother Darryl” (what I call my band) come from?
A: If you have to ask that you are not going to recognize three quarters of my set list.

Q: There is no Jagermeister left, you seem to have had it all, what else would you like to have instead?

A: That’s easy, I will have some Jagermeister

Q: Will you play “Bobby McGee”
A: No

Q: Do you know that you can’t sleep here?
A: Just have the cleaning staff clean around me, thank you

Q: Why do you have so much sound equipment, with just you playing?
A: It make me feel important, and it is nice to know that if the mood strikes I can break every window in a three block radius.

Q: Have you won any awards?
A: I won a “Most Sportsmanlike” trophy for bowling when I was in grade 3

Q: Are you almost done tuning your guitar?
A: Jezuz, I am three songs into my setlist

Q: Can I have $40 for Gas?
A: Go away Lincoln (my son), I am gigging here

Q: Have you seen my freshly opened beer I set on the stage here?
A: Nope

Q: When I asked you for a request an hour ago, you said that you need to remember it and you would play it later
A: I have no idea how to play it, I was just hoping you would have left by now.

Q: What motivates you to get up alone and play all night
A: NB Liquor Commission

Q: You know you missed a chord in that last song
A: Sorry, what song was that... I was daydreaming

Q: May I have your autograph
A: May I have your wallet

Q: How much do you charge?
A: How much you got?

Q: Will you play at a party where there are children present
A: Only if you agree to pay for their therapy later in life

Q: Will you play something by Justin Beiber?
A: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Q: What happens when you forget the words to a song?
A: I read the lips of the crowd

Q: That song did not sound like Pink Floyd you know?
A: Pink Floyd does not sound like me

Q: Can I get up and sing a few songs
A: As long as you don’t mind if I sit down and drink and get paid for it

Q. Do you keep playing when a fight breaks out?
A. Wanna find out?

On Stage, Under the Lights

____________________

"...As we played, it was almost natural to carry on conversations, exchange laughs, as the music magically happened seemingly on its own." 

____________________ 

 It took me several swings at learning how to play guitar, once at a young age, and that was a less than successful attempt, and again as a teenager.. Closer to success.. still a minimal success rate. In my early twenties I began torturing my friends and family by a concerted effort and hours of noise making practice.

I joined the throngs of basement musicians, trudging through learning songs my rewind, play, rewind on a cassette player. I had no visions of ever playing in front to the cat, let alone any form of audience. However, as my comfort and repertoire grew, I had occasion to nervously play in camp fire settings, and small house parties.

After a good number of basement years, and small groups of victims that were in the wrong place at the wrong time and were subjected to my clumsy guitar efforts, something changed.

I was asked to play and sing for a larger group of people, even strangers, probably 40-50 people that were expecting entertainment. I was very comfortable with my set list, but was knee shaking nervous, as I finished tuning, and looked up at a seeming sea of eyeballs all focused at me. Working though my first song was horrific, focused on my fingers on the neck of my guitar, hearing my own voice as I sang. I was terrified as I wrapped up my first song. This is when something changed completely and permanently. They cheered, and applauded, and started calling out requests.

I know now that the group were probably more motivated by the steady stream of shooters that had been passed around for the previous hours, and they may have reacted the same to a recording of William Shatner singing on a portable 8 track player with a 2 inch speaker. But I didn’t care, my biggest fear was silence. The group was enthusiastic and wanted more – the motivators (tequila and zambuka shots) were unimportant to me.

As I played, I forgot completely about what my fingers were doing, no longer was focused on the sound of my voice. I got lost (in a good way) in performing. It was an unconscious transition, but an amazing one. The music was just happening, much more rhythmic, much more energized, and much more accurate. The music just flowed from my guitar, and rather than an outsider looking in, I became part of the party. With the music almost just happening on its own, I became part of the crowd, observing them, observing me.

Over the years, I had the good fortune to fall into an incredible group of musicians, a drummer, a bass player, and lead guitar player. The three of them were much more skilled than I with their respective instruments, but my clumsy timing and disregard to the laws of music, faded with their influence and knowledge of music.

The phenomenon of music freely flowing unconsciously remained, and was even exemplified with the additional sounds from my band mates. As we played, it was almost natural to carry on conversations, exchange laughs, as the music magically happened seemingly on its own.

As we performed in various bars, and private events, I would stand behind the microphone truly enjoying the sounds of the music, but I expect a surprise to the patrons of these events. I was more enthralled with watching the goings on within the crowd, than any effort to play the music. I could scan the room to see who is tapping their toes, mouthing the words, who we were connecting with, and who we had lost. It was an enjoyable challenge to find those that we had not gained a connection with, and adjust the set list, tempo, and volume to pull them into the music with us. I watched couples arguinmg, I watched men and women get picked up, I watched disputes, laughter and tears. I could see well in advance disputes over girlfriends devolve into physical altercations.

For the many years that I have played with the band and the years after when I played solo on stage, my biggest reward will never be where my fingers of my left land on my fret board, or the strumming rhythm or my right hand. My reward is the opportunity to be a participant in so many events, and the adrenalin invoking sensation of music without any thought or effort can flow from me.

I suggest that the next occasion(s) you have to enjoy live music, look at the performers.. there will be those focused on their instruments, or those lucky enough to be free of the effort and joining you in enjoying the music.