Top 20 Stupid Questions

There was a recent study done by somebody somewhere that the most viewed items on the internet (I am assuming other than porn) is "Top Ten Lists". Maybe we can thank David Letterman for that, but regardless, if the study was done, and stated on the internet - than it MUST be true - therefore, as traffic to my site means, ads being clicked, means I make money  - then here is a list I created a couple of years ago that anyone who has ever performed music will relate to, and for those that have watched and interacted with a performer, you too may see some items that you thought were original when speaking with the performer.


TOP 20 QUESTIONS I GET ASKED WHEN PERFORMING

Q: Where does the name ``My Other Brother Darryl” (what I call my band) come from?
A: If you have to ask that you are not going to recognize three quarters of my set list.

Q: There is no Jagermeister left, you seem to have had it all, what else would you like to have instead?

A: That’s easy, I will have some Jagermeister

Q: Will you play “Bobby McGee”
A: No

Q: Do you know that you can’t sleep here?
A: Just have the cleaning staff clean around me, thank you

Q: Why do you have so much sound equipment, with just you playing?
A: It make me feel important, and it is nice to know that if the mood strikes I can break every window in a three block radius.

Q: Have you won any awards?
A: I won a “Most Sportsmanlike” trophy for bowling when I was in grade 3

Q: Are you almost done tuning your guitar?
A: Jezuz, I am three songs into my setlist

Q: Can I have $40 for Gas?
A: Go away Lincoln (my son), I am gigging here

Q: Have you seen my freshly opened beer I set on the stage here?
A: Nope

Q: When I asked you for a request an hour ago, you said that you need to remember it and you would play it later
A: I have no idea how to play it, I was just hoping you would have left by now.

Q: What motivates you to get up alone and play all night
A: NB Liquor Commission

Q: You know you missed a chord in that last song
A: Sorry, what song was that... I was daydreaming

Q: May I have your autograph
A: May I have your wallet

Q: How much do you charge?
A: How much you got?

Q: Will you play at a party where there are children present
A: Only if you agree to pay for their therapy later in life

Q: Will you play something by Justin Beiber?
A: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Q: What happens when you forget the words to a song?
A: I read the lips of the crowd

Q: That song did not sound like Pink Floyd you know?
A: Pink Floyd does not sound like me

Q: Can I get up and sing a few songs
A: As long as you don’t mind if I sit down and drink and get paid for it

Q. Do you keep playing when a fight breaks out?
A. Wanna find out?

Is music still for sale?

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"...the products of artists may no longer be a saleable item."

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Regardless of your taste in music, your favourite genre can probably be traced back decades ago, to times of starving musicians, in small studios, recording on primitive equipment. Distribution of the music was by radio, or even if fortunate enough, to be seen live in small venues.

Nearly without exception, one can listen to these old recordings and be in awe of the talent, and groundbreaking changes that were being made in music. There were no shortages of artists, or floods of awful sounding musicians and performers. These musicians were often less than affluent, and shared their music out of the pure passion of the arts.

Today we have superstars worth millions and millions of dollars. Production company executives living in mansions and enjoy a life of lavish extremes. Not for a moment would I suggest that these artists, producers or executives are contributing less to the art of music, and equally, will be look back at decades later as innovators and geniuses.

So what has changed from the early years of music to present? It is obvious that the amount of income that a superstar (and associates) is a whole different world now. The direction the music industry travelled, with sales of physical recordings, huge distribution channels, royalties, fundamentally changed the income model for musical performers.

But now, there has been another market fundamental change. The internet, the ease of the public to access recordings, and bypassing all of the middle income gathers. Music Piracy. As per a previous blog post, I think this is yet another case that we are attempting to fit an old business model into a new medium that simply does not fit.

To reiterate, the music industry was healthy and booming and innovative in the early 1900’s .. and the market set a value to these performers.. Even with incomes similar to other professions outside of the industry. With the new world of the internet, the market is speaking once again, not willing or wanting to pay for physical recordings, nor paying licence fees, or royalties. We can try to legislate to the market to continue this ridiculous income levels for the performers, distributors and production. I suggest let the market sort this all out. Maybe an artist will settle back to where their true value is, not a starving homeless soul, but live a comfortable life off of live performances, endorsements etc.

Videos, recordings etc, the market has clearly determined are mere commercial advertising opportunities to gain recognition, and fame. Although as incredible it may be to imagine, the product of artists may no longer be a saleable item. Music will continue to exist, as it did before every executive was driving a Porsche or Jaguar. I don’t expect that the artists that shaped today’s music so many years ago drove Lamborghinis and wore millions of dollars worth of jewellery. But the music is here, and will never stop.

A painful but very real market correction is in the works, and police, a judge with a gavel, lawyers cannot stop it.

He was not "Rain Man".. but still...!!

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"When he was done, he politely stood up, carefully handed my guitar.. and in words I understood this time, said “thank you”. 

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I had the pleasure a week ago, to volunteer to play guitar and sing for a group of 30-40 mentally challenged adults for a Christmas party celebration. I have enjoyed the experience of having a mentally handicapped adult in my extended family for over 20year, and have frequently attended a weekly “drop-in” gathering with her and a good number of these adults as they socialize, do crafts and play games.

I have on a handful of occasions brought along my guitar and participated in their evening, by providing some music, some tambourines, and shakers to share with the group.

I had a very special moment this year as I situated myself, with my chair, small amplifier, guitar, music stand and microphone. The “drop-in” participants were beginning to arrive at the party, and I sat tuning my guitar, and preparing for the evening.

It is not unusual, for this to draw the attention of a handful of the group, and several of them took positions beside me as I asked for “assistance” in plugging  in wires, setting out my music books etc. However one man seemed to be particularly interested in my guitar. Un-distracted by the growing group and energy in the room, he watched my every move with my guitar.

Although there is a wide scope of functionality and causes for the mental challenges of these adults ranging in age from 30-70years, this particular man was late 30ths, and suffered from Down’s Syndrome. He was blessed with very little physical disabilities, and mentally relates to others at a Grade 1 student level.  I expect that he would be unable to know the address of his house, or have the ability to read or write, and would struggle with some of the simplest of tasks that we all take for granted.

I struggled to understand his speech, and our communication settled down to more of a pointing and exchanging gestures, but for what words I could understand, and his pointing. He wanted to play my guitar. Although I am very comfortable working with mentally handicapped adults, I struggle with letting anyone touch my guitar. As is very common with mental disabilities, emotion is unfettered, no hiding behind educated politeness, shyness, reservations... an enjoyable trait they all share... honesty, complete and sincere honesty. They have no ability for the complicated process of hiding their feelings, or beating around the bush, or reining in desires.

It was clearly something that he truly wanted, to play with my guitar. I sat him down, and carefully handed him my guitar. I was very surprised, when, he spoke insistently (I could not understand), and he reached out, and took the guitar pick out of my hand. I nervously watched and he adjusted himself on the chair and positioned my guitar on his knee.

He started... he played.. he was not playing WITH my guitar, he was PLAYING my guitar. I stood in complete shock, as he strummed perfectly rhythmically through the series of chords... Am, C, G, D. I was slack jawed. I watched closely as he played, he was not simply mirroring something that had been taught to him over years, I watched his fingers on the strings as he formed chords. All musicians as they progress thought chord changes, make near mistakes as they start to form an incorrect chord, and without missing beats, make the minor corrections to finger placements. My friend fingers were performing in this exact way. He was playing and understanding the music that was filling the hall full of his peers.

As I stood in amazement, he without missing a beat, reached his feet forward to begin pulling the base of the microphone stand towards him, the microphone that was out of reach from him, slid closer until it was perfectly positioned in front of he. Thinking my bubble of awe might be broken slightly seeing now that he was going to sing. And he did begin singing. I almost had to reach for a chair myself, because his singing was beautiful. The unintelligible speech remained a curse for him, as the words he sang were not understandable.. but that did not matter.. he was in perfect key, he confidently offered a voice that was dynamic, energetic and a joy to listen to. I wish I knew the song he was singing and playing, so I could fill in the words in my mind. But that did not matter. It was a completely moving experience, one which I will never forget.

When he was done, he politely stood up, carefully handed my guitar.. and in words I understood this time, said “thank you”.